Tales From The Hive
by Potatokillerx
Summary: What happens when a zergling, a hydralisk, an infested terran, kerrigan, and some people from another world meet. these, are their stories. Read and review
1. Chapter 1

Potato killer productions bring you: Tales from the Hive!

: Hello, random people (Persons) that have stumbled on to this page by any…

Infested Kerrigan: Zergling shut the hell up

Ted: It's Ted the Zergling, Ted the Zergling! Ugh… warm out the welcome will ya. Anyway, now that you know that I am Ted, Meet Bob the Hydralisk and Billy the Infested Terran.

Bob: Yo

Billy: Live for the swarm.

Bob: **Sighs** Ted, he needs another shot of tequila

Ted: Alright, whatever. **Gives a tequila** to Billy

Billy: Came, saw and loved the tequila

Ted, yeah, whatever, anyway, the main purpose of these documentations and...

Bob: You're using big words again

Ted: WHATEVER… anyway the main purpose of this is to tell you what goes on in the hive when we aren't destroying the inferior species.

Let's get on with the first tale.

Ted, Bob, Billy, and two larvae are sitting in the hives bar. What, a zerg has to have liquor sometimes

Larvae 1 to larva 2: Hey baby, come here often.

Larvae 2: Man, I am tired of being asked that question, go get in an egg and mature.

Larvae 1: Fine, I'm going to be an Ultralisk one day… then you'll see

Kerrigan (in the distance): That will be my decision

Zoom to other side of bar.

Ted: Man, there is no way that that girl will fall for him

Bob: Yeah

Billy: Live for the swarm, stay for the girls and drinks

Kerrigan comes in.

Kerrigan: Barkeep, give me a drink.

12 drinks and one talk later

Ted: Kerrigan... there is no way that you can jump off of a Terran Barracks when it is in the air

Bob and Billy: Just can't happen.

Kerrigan: Watch… (Hiccup)…me

15 minutes later

Ted: Are you ready

Kerrigan: Yep

Bob: Jump

Kerrigan jumps, but doesn't ace the landing

Bob checks for pulse

Bob: Oh my god, she's dead

Ted: Well, I say that I, as her favorite, shall take over the zerg, as my own

Bob: No way, it should be me

Billy: I look more like her, it should be me

All start battering each other

Kerrigan… ugh, hangover… from… h….l

All: She's alive!

Ted: It still should have been me

Well, tale one is done, now for the next one

Ted, Bob, and Billy are running to the middle of nowhere.

Ted: So, what does Kerrigan need to get over her hangover?

Warp opens in the background.

Bob: the key ingredient is bezoars…

Billy: You idiot, that is the Harry Potter and the goblet of fire, not the book of home remedies for the alcoholic

Bob: oh, well, yeah, I knew that, I was, testing you, that's it

Billy: Ugh… idiot

2 people step out of the warp, and walk forth

Potatokiller: Hello, is this the "Zerg Hive"

Note from author: Yes, it's me, and my friend Darkmaster

Darkmaster: Of course, you insolent idiot, you're talking to a zerg, so it must be near.

Ted: You look like Terrans… attack!

Potatokiller(PK): It's not like that, we need to speak with Kerrigan, queen of the zerg  
Bob: **mutters** got that right.

A few mile trek and one stuffed protoss head later.

Darkmaster: You Zergs made a souvenir shop in the middle of nowhere, and Pk, you just had to buy a stuffed zealot head

Ted and PK: Yep

Dark master sighs

Back with Kerrigan

Kerrigan: I sense… and auras of zerg like quality, and I like it

Later, With Kerrigan and darkmaster alone.

Darkmaster: So, you are the leader of the hive

Kerrigan gives a sigh, looks deeply into his eyes

Darkmaster: hey… I've seen that look before, that's the look that my sister did with her boy…friend

Yelling sound heard all over the zerg hive

Ted: What was that?

PK: Who needs to know?

Billy: so, is there anything that you need.

Yeah, a zergling, a hydralisk, and an Infested terran, also, a stolen science vessel

Billy:… alright, sounds easy enough.

Back with Kerrigan and Darkmaster

Darkmaster, hesitantly: what do you get when you cross a zerg with a human?

Kerrigan, sweetly: Sigh, what

Darkmaster: ME GETTING THE HELL OUTTA HERE!

Another yelling sound is heard throughout the hive.

Billy: Let me guess, don't need to know.

PK in science vessel: Yeah.

Billy: what are you doing

PK: through molecular construction and deconstruction with the zergs you have provided, I have made a new breed

Billy:…

PK: ugh… new zergs that rip, tear and shred.

Billy: Now I understand

PK: You don't, do you

Billy: No, but what's it called

PK: It's called…the……zergaliskan

Billy: What.

Pk: Let me explain the name in the technical way

Red letters are the ones that have been removed

Zerglinghydraliskinfestedterran

Zergaliskan.

Billy: It took you 5 seconds to think of that name, didn't it?

Pk: no, I mean, yes.

Later that night, in the acquired quarter of the zerg hive for darkmaster and pk

Darkmaster: …must…hide…away from….Kerrigan

PK: I've never seen you be so scared before, it's not like she had a crush…on…you. Oh dear god

Will the zergaliskan be the only of its type? Will it be what PK says it will, and will Ted, Bob, and Billy learn more about Pk and Darkmaster, and will Darkmaster find a way to get away from Kerrigan, wait till the next TALES FROM THE HIVE!

Special thanks to Blizzard Entertainment for the great game(s)


	2. Chapter 2

Potatokiller Productions is proud to make a change. We now have more authors for this project, introducing darkmaster and Flamer Yoai.

The Hunt for Liquor: By Potato killer

After a hard day of work, blowing up, scouting, and hunting, Ted, Bob and Billy meet up with PK and Darkmaster

Billy: So, PK, have any luck teaching the zergaliskan some new tricks.

PK: No, all it does is that of a dog

Billy to Ted: Oh **Whispers** what's a dog, and what's it mean

PK: It means that it licks it butt all day and licks others too

Darkmaster: Enough with the idle chit chat, let's get some liquor.

Inside the hive bar

PK: Yo, barkeep, give me and my buds here 2 shots of tequila with the strongest stuff you have

Barkeep (Infested Terran): Sorry, out of everything.

Darkmaster: Son of a…

PK: changing the subject, where can we get more

Barkeep: Well, the terrans have a whole store full of the stuff.

Ted: Well, what are we waiting for, let's get some

Pk: Only one problem,

Bob: what

Darkmaster: Go in looking like that and you'll be eating a Gauss Rifle sandwich.

Ted, Bob, and Billy: ……

Darkmaster: Fools, you'll need a disguise of some sorts.

PK: We should take the one that looks most humanlike.

All look at Billy

Billy: What?

A few minutes and a total change of clothes later

PK: So, How's it feel?

Billy: My collar is too tight, and my pants are

Darkmaster: Can it, how are we supposed to get to the terran town.

Three vultures fly by.

PK: Back in a sec

3 minutes and gallons of blood later

PK: Good news, I got the transportation

On the way

PK: So, we storm the place and take all of the booze

Darkmaster: Yeah, that's the plan

Billy: This plan will never work.

In the town.

Billy: I can't believe the plan worked, and with maximum casualties

Darkmaster: That's how we work

Just as the trio were about to leave, a young man stepped into their way

: Hold it!

Darkmaster: Sorry, can't do that

PK: Got some stuff that needs "delivered" from the liquor shop.

: I know what you did, and that was what I was going to do!

Darkmaster: Really? What's your name?

Flamer: Flamer, Flamer Yoai

Darkmaster: Flamer eh? Why don't you join the zerg forces?

Flamer: As long as I can have a stuffed head of something.

PK: oh, oh, I know a place where they sell stuffed zealot heads

Flamer: eh, works for me

Later back at the hive bar, after all the strongest liquor was in their systems, and a stuffed Protoss head on the wall

PK: ...Cheers…to a…zergs and to a…new…ally **passes out**

Darkmaster: Heh doesn't know how to hold his liquor.

Flamer, Ted, Billy: I'd say

Bob, on the floor, passed out

Camera Chaos By: The whole crew

PK in science vessel: Okay, a little lenses here, and a little electricity there, and its done.

Ted: Yawn. What's done, you have been in there all night.

Pk: I have made, the only, security camera in the hive.

Ted: Yeah, that's good for you. Just leave me alone while I sleep.

PK: Whatever (in his mind) ho ho ho, silly Ted, he's the zerg that is just right for recording.

Later, in the vent in Ted's room

Pk: Okay, let's start recording

Ted is sleeping with a protoss squishy, it has a name tag on, to hard to read

PK: Awwww, so cute. Next

In the vents of Billy's room: Lets get this over with

Billy is watching TV.

Billy: No, don't do it, he's obviously the weakest link, weakest link.

PK: Damn, he's a little obsessive with BBCA

In Bob's room, under the bed

Bob: My head itches. **Scratches head** Owww, owww, owww, claws, and spines owww.

PK: Idiot.

In Flamer Yoai's room

Flamer is hanging up a stuffed protoss head.

Flamer: Done.

PK: Boring

In Kerrigan's room

Kerrigan is making a shrine, upon closer inspection, it seems to be of Darkmaster

PK:Throws up in bag

In darkmaster's room

PK: Man, this is too good to pass up.

Darkmaster looks directly at PK

Darkmaster: I knew you would show up. Cracks knuckles


End file.
